One More Chance

“I love Lebanon. A lot.”
A sentence my dad has heard a lot, and that this time opened a subject that would change my mood to the better. A subject so crucial it me that has affected my whole life for a short period of time, my return to Venezuela. For person matters and the sake of anonymity, I won’t sate the reasons for this; but what I can say is that the situation in Lebanon is deteriorating, and that is affecting the length of time, time that is flowing smoothly, of my stay here. The clock is ticking, the days are passing and I watched as time flew, counting the days for the flight of no return. There’s so much that has to be done and so little time for achieving them. So after I said that special sentence, I love Lebanon, my dad assured me after a lengthy talk that I will hopefully stay here in Lebanon until my graduation. Then, we might even stay for my college education. I also have the choice of studying in America. I was overwhelmed by the amount of happiness inside me. Yes! I have two more years to enjoy my beautiful Lebanon. Yes! I have two more years of sweet friendship with my best friend. Yes! But all this happiness was halted by reality and my nature of overthinking. I thought: “What about college?” This question brought me to my knees. Choose between Lebanon or America. The choice would’ve been obvious for me, Lebanon. But one thing halts all of this, my life as a homosexual individual. How can I find love in a country where my whole being is considered a deadly sin? How can I ever find that person that completes me in a country where simple yet true love is hard to be found? Being a romantic person, this stopped me for a while. Living in the country of my dreams without having a partner? Well, I love my country, maybe way too much, but I am already giving up one of the best years of my life to find true love. The clock is ticking and days are passing and I still have time to make this choice, for life has its ways, its ups its downs, we only make the choices and follow life as it leads its way.

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