Chilly November night, random Uruguay Street pub, people’s voices are muffling our table’s conversation. It is chilly outside, I am very tipsy which is allowing me to feel the Deep House beats from my neck down my spine. My friend is beaming with happiness, it is her birthday and she is very excited. She calls a guy. My vision must’ve been blurred because I couldn’t make out the exact identity of the person.
Then it hit me.
It was my high school bully.
It has been two years since I graduated and I’ve been trying to efface most things related to my high school, from classmates to memories. I started university as a blank page, ready to start all over again.
But then I see him.
It really doesn’t affect me as much now, I’ve grown as a person and learned to let go of the past. He comes to our table. I act normal. I greet him and basically give him the least amount of attention without being borderline rude. However, things changed towards the end. I am not a smoker, but when I am out with my friends and having a good time, I might light a cigarette for the fuck of it.
And then he decides to make the snide remarks he was so well known for.
Wow bro, I didn’t know you were this cool. I wish I had know back in high school. So yeah, let’s forget what happened then,
Then he raised his glass.
Here’s to the past.
I am dumbfounded. I can’t help but look at him, lick my teeth, roll my eyes and raise my cup with a sigh.
I initially wanted to rage in this post. I wanted to write about the feeling of getting your bully’s acceptance. I was going to rage at the fact that after all the years of having to deal with his shit, with all the taunts and slurs, with having my pictures constantly hung in the bathrooms I was graced to get his oh so wanted acceptance -not apology- acceptance.
I raise my glass to you guys,
Here’s to the past, to moving on, and new starts.